This holds you back from the possibility of an extraordinary relationship. To focus your energy on living positively and proactively, you need to learn how to let go. Let them know that they need to be more supportive, and that you're not trying to change the person but how the relationship works. Don't expect to do it all at once.
And be careful about your inner caretaker. You don’t want to let go. When you’re unable to let go, those memories become a part of your “story” and work against you. Those memories justify everything for you. Your partner doesn't want to feel like you're trying to change them; if they do, that will make the whole the situation feel like an even bigger disaster. His responses range from anger at her for reaching out, to compassion and asking her to be strong and move on with her life.
They are both in painover not wanting to let go and trying to hold on. Start with direct contact, then move into phone conversations, text, and then social media as you feel stronger and stronger. As many of us have discovered, even if it’s the most toxic thing to continue feeling as we do or to be involved with someone, we continue. One of the clients constantly contacts her ex-partner, wanting to connect with him. It’s a bit like “I’ve started, so I’ll finish” but also because even when there is nothing, or it’s crumbs, we don’t want to let go.
So let go of a little at a time.
.
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